Friendship and belonging
How to support your daughter through friendship difficulties
Friendship changes can feel enormous at this age. A calm adult presence can help a girl feel less alone without taking over the relationship for her.
01
Start with the feeling, not the verdict
Before labelling a friendship as good or bad, acknowledge what the moment felt like. ‘That sounds lonely’ or ‘I can see why that would sting’ gives her space to keep talking.
02
Separate belonging from fitting in
Help her notice the difference between a friendship where she can be herself and one where she feels she has to shrink, perform or stay silent. This can be a quiet conversation rather than a demand to end a friendship immediately.
03
Practise a simple sentence together
A calm sentence can be easier to use when it has been rehearsed. Try: ‘I did not like that joke’, ‘Can we talk about this later?’, or ‘I want to sit with someone else today’. Keep the words natural for her.
A conversation to try
Ask: ‘Which friendships leave you feeling more like yourself, and which leave you feeling smaller?’
Useful further reading
These guides are educational resources, not therapy, diagnosis, crisis care or a substitute for professional support. Seek appropriate local support if you are concerned about a young person’s immediate safety or wellbeing.